Our behaviour isn’t who we are, underneath our behaviour is a whole lot of trauma responses, that cause us to act in certain ways when we’re triggered…
1)THE FLIGHT TYPE – It is theorized that this type of individual, for the same reasons as below, avoids close relationships with others by immersing themselves in activities (for example, by becoming a workaholic) which do not leave him the time to build deep, serious relationships with others.
2)THE FIGHT TYPE – The individual who has become fixated, due to his childhood experiences, on the ‘fight’ response avoids close relationships with others by frequently becoming enraged and by being overly demanding. It is theorized that they are largely unconsciously driven to behave in this way because they have a deep-rooted need to alienate others so that an intimate relationship cannot develop. The largely unconscious reasoning behind this is that such a relationship would make them intolerably vulnerable because it would carry with it the risk of rejection, similar to the rejection experienced in childhood, which would be psychologically catastrophic for them.
3) THE FREEZE TYPE – This type avoids serious relationships with others by not participating with them socially. Often they will become reclusive and increasingly take refuge in fantasies and day-dreams.
4) THE FAWN TYPE – the fawn type will often go out of their way to help others, perhaps by performing some kind of community service, but without building up emotionally close, or intimate, relationships, due to fear, like the other three types detailed above, of making himself vulnerable to painful rejection which would reawaken intense feelings of distress experienced as a result of the original, highly traumatic childhood rejection.
Can you see yourself?